Empty Bottles


With all the bottles shattered and only emptiness staring up at me I now understand what it means to suffer guilt in survival. I’m doing more than surviving here, I’ve etched out a new life, a new path, a new focus, everything about my now is new and altered and in the beginning strange but…

The Soothing Canvas


Waking from a nights sleep, feeling as though I haven’t slept in weeks, I reach for the toothpaste to wash my hands while my brain desperately attempts to make sense of what should be banal morning rituals. Such desperate attempts at feeling my way around my surroundings can push on into afternoons and evenings as…

The Dress Alteration


Six years ago (almost to the day) I received a phone call from my doctor announcing whatever alien species had invaded my body weeks earlier –  in late December  – had taken his UFO and flown elsewhere. Her delight mirrored by the fact my ESR reading had dropped, my bloods were reading normal and nothing…

The Missing Link


Your parcel is travelling between our Northwest and West depot. Sometime after my sixth reading of an e-mail yesterday, I realised what this short sentence of words were actually saying to me. The terse statement finally showing its meaning. Up until then, I thought the words meant my parcel was on a van and out…

Finding the Pause Button


I might as well spend my time with my hands down the seams of my couch, trying to find a cache of hundreds of Euro, as attempting to find the remote control. More specifically, the pause button on this elusive remote control. The problem begins with the fact Christmas, for most, means time off work…

The snow bully and the small wren


In December 2016/January 2017 I wrote to three national newspapers asking them to delve into the world of ME. Below is my letter, unfortunately as the year draws to a close, nothing ever came of my writings but as ever, I live in hope. The following is my transcript: 2016 has taught us many lessons…

When you find yourself saying No


No is a word overused within the walls of this household. However I’ve yet to discover a more appropriate word, its two short letters enough to stop something from happening. It’s a word I found myself using most recently when about to do a daily Sudoku puzzle in a newspaper. Suddenly, realising I was to…

One step on a long road of steps?


Having an illness such as ME, you become accustomed to ignorant comments. Such words are part and parcel of living with a condition that few know and understand – most of the knowledgeable people being patients, not the wider world – . However, when you sit opposite a doctor and listen to their illiterate spews,…

Autumn Abound


As hues of yellow and brown creep their way onto my autumn canvas and the earth transitions, I find myself too transitioning, teetering between long summer hours and the brevity of winter days to come. And so the last hurrah of sorts occurs, a final nod toward what was and what’s about to be. The luxury…