Time Heals All?


We’ve all heard the phrase “Time heals all wounds”. Whether these words have been said to us or by us, we’ve heard of this mysterious clock, the one that ticks by effortlessly, healing every wound and scar. For most, the clock is never found, the wounds never fully heal and the scars are reminders of…

Naked Living


When I first got sick I fought to remain in work. My hobbies had disappeared, evaporating like some rain puddle in spring. My social life took a plunge and my ridiculous pride at keeping a tidy home lay strewn across my kitchen floor. Every label I had once allowed myself to own was lost. Every…

Boxed and Labelled


Whether we like it or not, we spend most of our lives in a box before passing to our final resting place. We humans love order, placing people in slots, classifying ourselves like old fossil bones in an archaeological dig. During my time on this planet I’ve been in boxes, labelled neatly and categorised. My stack…

The Fight Part Two


Before meeting my new consultant, I e-mailed him a list of pointers I wished to discuss, afraid to walk out his door without addressing one of my many concerns. The e-mail was long, very, very long, at the time I was still pushing myself to work four hours a day and I desperately wanted to discuss this,…

The Fight Part One


Sitting on my hospital bed beside my new friend, myalgic encephalomyelitis on Friday, April 13th 2012, listening to my attending doctor tell me it would be years, not months, before good health showed up at my door again, we parted ways. This particular consultant shared my path through the brambles of the unknown to diagnosis…

Disappearing Plans


Plans used to be the air to my lungs and running their addiction. I was forever accountable to a spread sheet, one travelled in my handbag along with my little black book noting every training run, every race, every time and another was stuck to a wardrobe, answering any question my husband had as to…

Reluctant Acceptance


Early in my diagnosis, I attempted dumping my new friend myalgic encephalomyelitis. Trawling the internet I tried understanding why she picked my couch to hang out on and searched how to forcibly remove her. However, there were no answers. Researchers have theories and doctors opinions but there are no solutions. If you break an arm…

Irrational Thinking and ME


June 2011 and I was running, races waited at various stops along my chucking tracks. I was blinkered, I thought my life was full, I was running, I was happy. Eighteen months ago I lost my past, try it, its weird. Its now June 2013 and I no longer run. The medals prove I finished…